10 Benefits Of Being Married At A Young Age
For many folks, getting married is “THE” milestone that will define their adulthood.
These days, many brain cells are spent trying to decide when is the best time to get married. In this post, I will dig deep and break down(from personal experience) my best takes on why getting married young is a good idea.
I will also answer the question, “Are there any problems with getting married too young?” And share a few tips on how to make a young marriage work. Stay tuned.
What Age Is Considered “Married at a Young Age”?
Curious, I looked up this question and agreed with the general consensus. The answer varies by culture and society. But in our Western society, to be married at a young age generally refers to those who marry under 25.
And although when I first started writing this post, I didn’t know where I landed on the young marriage spectrum — now I do. I barely made it right under the cut. So for the rest of this post, listen up and listen good peeps. I definitely know what I’m talking about here:)
10 Good Reasons To Get Married Young
You Grow Together
When I reflect with my wife on almost 30 years of marriage, I sometimes look at her and remark, “What the heck were we thinking when we said ‘I do’?”
And the comment is not a knock on getting married at such a young age. But it’s a comment on how vastly we have evolved in our time together.
Being together through good and uncertain times breeds a very intimate bond, kinda like when you’re part of a sports team. If you have the proper perspective, you positively grow and change for the good of the team. Because you make it your mission to do whatever the team needs to win.
And one way you grow together is by, over time, becoming aware and WILLINGLY adjusting to each other’s strengths and flaws. This means that unlike what I’ve heard too often from younger couples, a good marriage does not break down into a 50-50 balance of labor. Instead, it’s complementary to each individual’s strengths.
And like any good team, it is the picking up of each other’s slack at opportune times that generates an awesome bond over time. And the longer you and your spouse are at it, the greater the sense of togetherness and appreciation for one another.
Rich And Deep Intimacy
In addition to growing together when you get married at a young age, there is also the opportunity to form a deep and rich intimacy with your spouse.
A bond that will surpass any relationship you’ve ever had because of the sheer longevity involved. I recently asked my wife if she realized I’ve been longer with her than I ever was in my parents’ home.
That testament of longevity only adds positively to the level of closeness and security felt for one’s significant other. And I won’t lie; it’s a pretty incredible feeling to share with another person.
God Certainly Digs It
There are countless verses in the Bible where God expresses the wonders of marriage. It truly is the foundational relationship of all of humanity. And its importance is repeatedly emphasized by the Creator of existence.
I particularly like the rendition of Proverbs (5:18):
“Let your fountain be blessed;
Find joy in the wife of your youth.”
As I understand it, in this verse, a correlation is being made between the blessing of being married at a young age. But it also connotes the Bible(the study of) itself as a “wife” providing blessings since your youth.
Clearly, God sees both entities as being of high value in a person’s younger life. And from my experience, I certainly can’t argue with that.
The Less Baggage, The Better
This one is a no-brainer, and it’s one benefit of marrying young that I highly emphasize.
As it relates to a relationship, baggage is not good, just in theory. But also in a very real, practical way.
Marrying later in life sometimes means acquiring a spouse that already has children. Not the end of the world, of course. But also not ideal or optimal in a new marriage.
Other times the baggage is the sheer amount of past relationships a person that delays marriage has. Take it from me, I only had one past relationship of note before I married at a young age, and my wife derisively pokes fun about it to this day.
The more past relationships you have, the more opportunities you have to be bothered or derailed by your past after you eventually settle down. I couldn’t imagine that. It certainly wouldn’t be great for the harmony of a marriage to be regularly distracted by remnants from the past.
The Less Baggage, The Better (Part Two)
And lastly, as it relates to baggage, the grand-daddy of them all. The “Louis Vuitton” of luggage, if you will.
The later in life you marry, the greater the odds that your eventual spouse has what I would call “ingrained bad habits.” Think about it.
The longer you’ve been alone, the more comfortable you get in your ways. Some habits may be good. But other not-so-good ones may just be too ingrained to break easily.
You quickly go from primarily minding yourself to having to think as a team. As a unit. As a “we.” And the longer your life has been performing in a solo act, the more challenging certain non-team-oriented habits are to let go.
Sometimes, the toughest thing to let go of when you marry later in life is the mentality of being single. The “team game” becomes a chore to assimilate into. And then, obviously, the chances of conflict in a new marriage only increase.
Best Window Of Opportunity
I have told my children, and looking back now, I see that the best opportunity to meet someone to marry is in your 20’s.
Young people are generally more unattached in their early twenties. And the older you get, the more people become unavailable in the looking-to-get-married marketplace. Since many are either married themselves or in serious relationships.
As I mentioned earlier, another type of attachment many people acquire as they age is children, either because of divorce or just having a child out of wedlock. The ideal pool of people available to marry(without baggage) decreases steadily as you leave your twenties.
Plus, in your 20’s, you can be more versatile and outgoing. There are more opportunities to meet people through school or many other social activities young people partake in.
Also, when you’re young, going to social events on your own looks okay. The same cannot be said when you get a little older and remain unattached. Just saying:)
Prime Physical Condition
Being in your physical prime in your early twenties is another reason to consider being married at a young age.
If you’re a woman, there’s no sugar-coating the fact that physically giving birth is optimal in your twenties. And so is the energy for parenting. That goes for men as well.
I couldn’t imagine having my first kid in my mid-30s or later. I mean, I did have kids in my thirties, but they weren’t the first ones. By then, all the trails were blazed, and methods of parenting “best/worst practices” were second nature in order to minimize physical stresses.
But I tell my wife all the time that I don’t know if we could’ve done all the running around we did if we had our first kid later in life. I mean, I’m sure we would have managed, but as is the theme here today — it would not have been ideal.
In addition, if you’re a woman, there’s the very real specter that the closer to your physical peak, the better the opportunity of having a healthy child.
Ultimately, being at your physical peak may not be the top selling point on why to get married young. But I would definitely put it in the “bonus points” category for sure.
God Digs It (Part Two)
For most of human existence, it has been innate and even instinctual to get married at a young age. It is basically in the DNA of man’s original design.
Only in modern times do people pause and view marriage as optional instead of a definite certainty.
In essence, God’s direct command “to be fruitful and multiply” sounds more like a suggestion to us modern “enlightened” folks.
Why? Because many in our current society look internally for fulfillment. It’s all about the individual and how they will look out for their own security and comfort first.
Hence, they set standards like “being financially stable” or “having an opportunity to travel” before committing to marriage in the first place. Let alone marrying early in their youth when it has been commonplace throughout human history.
And this is where things get a little deeper.
It is clear to me that getting married young prioritizes God’s plan of “choosing life” (Deut. 30:19). As I mentioned earlier, by noting the general peak physical age for giving birth, marrying young is optimal for the propagation of humanity.
The problem is instead of many in our society trusting in God and His process for their well-being, they resort to their own devices.
Humanity as a whole is experiencing a steep decline in birth rates all over the world, largely due to a decrease in faith and wisdom.
And this is why getting married young is not merely up to a personal choice. But it can also be seen as a divine mandate.
Look at it like this.
If getting married at a young age comes from a place of fear, insecurity, or self-absorption, then a more profound issue is revealed—namely, a lack of trust and closeness to the Creator and Sustainer of us all.
And that God does not dig at all.
It Breeds Focus And Maturity
Nothing makes this point more to me than the difference in perspective between a person who married young and one who intentionally delayed their nuptials.
I have noticed a marked difference in attitude and decision-making between those who marry early and those who don’t. And obviously, it makes perfect sense. Marrying young injects a high level of focus and seriousness into your life.
Focus on the needs of your significant other and the relationship. And a heightened sense of seriousness in keeping up with all the newfound responsibilities in life. Which involves things like paying bills and maintaining a home. And when the time comes, it could include taking care of a newborn life.
Indeed, the increase in responsibilities when marrying young is next level. And it breeds an increased level of maturity in those who decide to take the early plunge.
Which is exactly what the doctor prescribed(God) you in order to better manage and grow into adulthood.
It Improves Financial Stability
Another advantage of getting married young is the ability to pool resources to be financially stable.
Notice I didn’t say pool together solely “financial resources.” In some cases, only one partner may have financial assets, but the other may be an excellent homemaker—or better organizer and decision-maker.
But together, they can combine their strengths to improve their financial outlooks.
Pooling resources to achieve financial goals can mean combining to save for big-ticket items like a down payment on a home or helping each other with student loan debts. And, of course, coming together to start a business.
The point is, getting married young can positively accelerate a young couple’s financial outlook if approached wisely. And in the end, build a solid financial foundation that will benefit the entire family for years to come.
Are There Any Problems With Getting Married Too Young?
The word that comes to mind is maturity. And the reason the concept of maturity is at the top of the list is because if the young couple has it, they can overcome anything.
Maturity can affect the expectations you have for your young marriage. The level of maturity will also affect how young newlyweds approach the topic of conflict resolution.
The question is, are you mature enough to know what you don’t know? And then to be humble enough to put your head down and put in the work it takes to find out and improve.
This is why evaluating and being aware of the level of maturity of those wishing to marry young is critical. A decent level of maturity when it comes to conflict resolution, dealing with expectations, and displaying a bit of humility — should ease many issues that come with being married at a young age.
How To Make A Young Marriage Work
Two quick things.
- Get rid of all preconceived ideas, a.k.a., shelf any foolhardy expectations.
In general, expectations of your spouse or anything else is the foundation of most conflicts. Consider it a virtue(God does) to exercise patience and regularly appreciate the strengths of your significant other instead of primarily focusing on their flaws.
Using the team analogy again, you must realize that you hand-picked your spouse to be your teammate. That means you understood their game and how good they were.
Don’t get married and proceed to start expecting hall-of-fame caliber skills from a player you only rated as a pretty good all-star.
Although, sometimes problems may still materialize if your player evaluation method was flawed to begin with. In that case, I offer a piece of second and most important advice to young couples.
- Both partners must have a relationship with God. Let me explain.
No matter who you are. No matter how lovely your spouse is. No matter how non-confrontational both partners may be. THERE WILL BE CONFLICTS in a marriage.
Understanding God’s ways is the ultimate tone-setter in a relationship(if both spouses are locked-in on God’s message).
And one of the main messages to absorb for ANYBODY that gets married involves patience and humility. Think about it.
Your mandate from God is to, by any means necessary, maintain your marriage “in good standing.” And If you both accept this challenge, then the spirit of humility and patience that a relationship with God brings into a young marriage will be helpful in times of conflict.
Thus, it would be considered particularly noble to exhibit these qualities precisely when one spouse may have gone “a bit off the deep end.” And you may feel completely victimized in some way by your significant other. This is the perfect time to choose to be humble and patient. And pray and trust God instead of instinctively lashing out.
Admittedly, I exhibited a steep learning curve when it came to grasping these concepts. My wife was a firm believer when we first got married. I wasn’t.
But once I came around to God’s influence, I squarely began to understand the need for patience and humility in our marriage. And many significant conflicts can be avoided when both partners in a young marriage can also realize this.
Conclusion
Being married at a young age is a good thing.
It used to be that marriage as early as you could was partly a practical option for stability and security in a highly chaotic world. But now, because of technological advancements, we enjoy personal freedoms and luxuries never known to mankind. Which means, in many cases, getting married at all has become optional. Hence, marrying at a young age has come to be seen as a flat-out oddity.
But hold up. Who says that the original template of marrying early has run its course? Who says that the need to focus on the self(first and foremost) before getting married at a later age is optimal? Not me.
Being married at a young age and developing a relationship with God has allowed me to see the wisdom of the original plan.
We primarily live in a world of relationships. Everything is a relationship. Nothing is self-sufficient and lives in a vacuum. We have a relationship with plants/animals. Plants have a relationship with bees, the sun, and so on.
Meaning the original plan of early marriage is more than an option that should solely hinge on your whims or comfort. No. Marrying young is a foundational relationship/vehicle for optimal human development.
When taken seriously and done right, there’s no better bridge than early marriage to set up a young person for a productive and meaningful adult life.
