God’s Law and Happiness: How Autonomy and Satisfaction Came When I Became “less free.”

As a teenager, I believed “freedom” meant doing whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted. My parents allowing me to mind my own business seemed like an ongoing struggle.

In the 80s, everyone had “fat” laces on their sneakers, but I was not allowed to do so. 

When all the kids sported BMX dirt bikes, I was relegated to rocking a bicycle like I’d be participating in the next Tour de France.

In high school, I dreamt of being one of the lucky souls I’d “hear” could return home at ungodly weekend hours. But alas, none of those things that I considered the mark of true freedom were ever in my cards.

Then God got in the way

As I got older, topics of faith and God became more prevalent in my world, mostly through friends and family associations. 

I knew of God, but at that time, I chose to stay at arm’s length. Looking back, I realize that in the back of my mind, I didn’t want to give up the newfound autonomy I had just unearthed in college. 

At that time, my ideas of religion were bleak and centered around life-sucking constraints. I chose freedom, or so I thought. 

The Great Autonomy Hoax

I can’t blame my younger self too much. I mean, who doesn’t want to feel grown up and free to do whatever they want?

As a matter of fact, what I’ve come to understand is that it’s not just a young person thing. Pretty much everyone wants to feel like they are living free, autonomously, with no constraints.

These days, I witness many adults who still cling to the Great Autonomy Hoax as if it had pre-civil war implications. I guess they perceive God as the Great Enslaver. 

Spoiler alert: I was painfully wrong in having this outlook.

As it turns out, “freedom” in the sense of “no rules, no consequences” is a little like living in a third-world country.

Did you know that in terms of not having to live under rules or laws, places like Haiti,  Somalia, and a few countries in Central America are bastions of unbridled freedom(tongue-in-cheek)?

My point is this: notice the correlation between “ultimate” freedom and chaos. The more unrestricted and devoid of standards a society is, the more free souls gravitate towards dysfunction.

This same concept applies to our lives. 

In my case, the more I lived like I was the ultimate master of my domain, the more unstable, dark, and painful my life became. This was the period of my “midlife crisis,” where sleep was minimal, stress was high, and God’s influence was nonexistent.

My realization? Without God’s guidance in managing the circumstances in my life, you WILL burn out spiritually and sometimes physically, like I did. 

The Freedom to Flounder

This is our God-given right.

And believe me, we all take full advantage of this right, especially those who consistently give their Creator the stiff arm.

The problem?

Most chaos and dysfunction in people’s lives do not initially cause major upheaval like a CAT-5 hurricane or an earthquake-shattering earthquake.

My misguided ideas about how to live and what to live for started small. 

Stay up a little later, working. Sleep a little less. Do a lot of nutrition devoid snacking and eating. Not seriously minding my newly diagnosed neurological disorder and not counteracting creeping, mounting career and financial worries.

For most people, there is a great deal of subtle, often unnoticed floundering and spiraling, even though they may appear to be living fully autonomous and fulfilling lives.

Examples include:

… living a socially detached existence with no larger purpose or motivation outside one’s needs.

… being nonchalant about searching for a significant other; that will often not end well.

… purposely having children out-of-wedlock; that ain’t great for society, no matter what anybody says.

… the idea that ALL lifestyles are equally beneficial for the individual and society; misguided notion for sure.

… starting having children past your 40s is not a good idea, no matter how much you brainwash yourself.

I’m familiar with all of the above circumstances. Even though the people involved manage their lives seemingly “normally,” deep down in their spirits, I recognize there’s something off.

The pride of living free of “celestial” encumbrances will not allow them to admit that their circumstances are not ideal, as surely their Father in Heaven would advise. 

So they low-key flounder in their freedom, and some even hype/promote their situation as a badge of honor. 

Here’s the Cosmic Punchline 

Looking from the downside of age 50, God’s law isn’t some cosmic killjoy gleefully lying in wait to zap your happiness. 

The Bible says,

“I call heaven and earth to witness against you this day: I have put before you life and death, blessing and curse. Choose life—if you and your offspring would live”—(Deuteronomy 30:19). 

This isn’t a trap; it’s a lifeline, a hint advising us that certain ideas and thought processes will lead to satisfaction, and others will not.

Think of God’s commandments like an instruction manual of sorts—except you are absolutely, positively guaranteed not to end up with a wobbly bookshelf and three leftover screws. 

Instead, the manual exists to ensure that you don’t accidentally build a chair you cannot sit in or a life you cannot deal with.

Today, I realize that the “higher power” structure I resented in my youth is the very thing that keeps me from falling apart.

Or, to put it another way, true freedom is not being able to do whatever you want whenever you want. 

True freedom is the ability to live a good life as directed by the life-promoting “regulations” of the Creator of the universe.

And just like strict adherence and enforcement of the law would make third world countries habitable and free for citizens to live a “good life,” — the same was the outcome when I sought godly structure and direction in my life.